Understanding the Various Forms of Abuse

Emotional abuse involves patterns of behaviour that chip away at a person’s self-esteem and confidence. It can include constant criticism, manipulation, threats, and controlling behaviour.

This may include:

• Repeatedly putting you down
• Calling you names
• Telling you that you are worthless
• Monitoring your behaviour or devices
• Threatening you or your children
• Isolating you from sources of support
• Preventing you from accessing your finances or sources of independence, for example, work
• Denying or minimising your experiences, known as gaslighting
• Blaming you for things you did not do
• Ignoring you or giving you the ‘silent treatment’
• Excessive attention or affection to make you feel dependent (known as ‘lovebombing’)

Physical abuse includes any act of violence such as hitting, slapping, pushing, choking, or any other action that causes physical harm.

This may include:

• Punching
• Slapping
• Kicking
• Burning
• Shaking
• Strangling
• Throwing items
• Use of weapons
• Depriving you of basic needs, for example, food or medication

Sexual abuse involves any sexual activity without consent.

This may include:

• Being pressured to have sex
• Being pressured to have unsafe or unprotected sex
• Forcing you to have sex
• Rape
• Being touched in inappropriate or unwanted ways
• Being pressured to meet unwanted sexual demands
• Forcing you to engage in prostitution or pornography
• Preventing access to birth control
• Documenting sexual acts without your permission
• Sharing documentation of sexual acts without your permission
• Removing a condom during sex without consent (known as ‘stealthing’)

This involves the use of financial methods to control you or to limit your independence. This may include:

• Preventing you from getting or keeping a job
• Taking your money
• Preventing you from accessing money
• Monitoring your spending
• Preventing access to bank accounts
• Creating debt in your name
• Destroying your possessions

This involves the use of digital or online devices to monitor or control you. This may include:

• Monitoring your online behaviour
• Preventing you from accessing your devices
• Tracking you via your devices
• Preventing access to support tools, for example, restricting access to the internet or to certain websites
• Accessing your phone or social media without your consent
• Posting digital content without your consent
• Encouraging you to take part in digital activities without your consen

Coercive control refers to continuous patterns of behaviour that are intended to exert power or control over a survivor. These behaviours deprive survivors of their independence and can make them feel isolated or scared.

Controlling behaviours may include:

• Isolating you from your family or friends
• Controlling what you eat, wear, or do
• Controlling who you are allowed to see or spend time with
• Preventing you from accessing support
• Gaslighting
• Monitoring your behaviour (online or in person)
• Tracking you, for example, using your phone or car
• Controlling your finances, for example, through your ability to earn money or what you spend money on
• Emotionally or physically threatening or intimidating you
• Threatening to disclose information about you publicly
• Humiliating or degrading you
• Repeatedly putting you down
• Making you feel fearful or scared of non-compliance

It is generally used to refer to crimes that have been committed by perpetrators who perceive they are protecting or defending the ‘honour’ of a family or community.

So-called ‘honour’-based violence may include:

• Forced marriage
• Domestic abuse
• Murder or murderous intent
• Physical ‘punishments’, for example, acid attacks
• Deprivation of freedom or independence
• Domestic imprisonment
• Kidnapping or abduction of the survivor or family members
• Female genital mutilation
• Sexual harassment or sexual violence
• Denying access to children or family
• Coercion, for example, to move or live in a certain area or country
• Threats to kill or harm